A joke and a contest!

And a completely unoriginal post title. Hey! Waddya want from me? We all can’t be witty and charming every day.

Creation vs Evolution has been settled!

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race come about?”

The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made.”

A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them.”

The confused girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God, and Papa says we developed from monkeys?”

The Mother answers, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side.”

::: insert rim shot :::::

___________________________________________________________________

I know, you’re all here for the contest portion of this post. Recently, the possibility of not returning to my current position due to the floppy paw has been brought up. Something about being in front of a computer for 9 hours a day not being conducive to having full use of my arm. I was asked “Have you thought about what job you would do if you couldn’t go back to what you were doing?”

::: blink, blink ::::

::: deafening silence :::::

I hadn’t even considered that. Not on my radar at all. My thoughts were: Doctor fix. Do PT. All better! Return to my job. That makes sense, doesn’t it?

Apparently not.

So the contest… give me an answer. What job could I do? or What job would you do? Don’t worry about education or talent requirements. No answer is too silly or too serious. It just can’t be sitting in front of and using a computer all day.

To get you all started, the first two that came to my mind are:

  1. phone sex operator
  2. pastor

No, I do not have issues, why do you ask?

The prize? How about prizes? Three lucky winners!

fiber 005

2 oz of Wooly Wonka 100% Superfine Merino in Wood Duck.

stash 012

2 skeins of Knit Picks Gossamer in Carribean

pirate

1 skein of Yarn Pirate BFL Sock Yarn in Cranberry Ice

Here’s a review:

  • Post your answer to the question “What job could I do?” or “What job would you do?” by 4 p.m. Pacific time on Saturday, 22 March.
  • Let me know if you only knit or if you knit and spin. (I kept typing sit and spin)
  • Random number generator will pick three lucky winners.
  • I may even throw in a special prize if you make me pee my pants

77 thoughts on “A joke and a contest!

  1. Jobs I would like?
    Photographing newborns (human and animal)
    Raising alpacas, angora bunnies and pretty much any soft, fluffy animal
    Visiting with shut-ins whose quality of life and perhaps their health would improve with social contact and someone taking an interest in their life and thoughts – a bonus would be the ability to knit on the job
    Substitute Mum/Grandma to younger women who have no or no access to their own Mums and grandmas before during and after the birth of their children (maybe that profession is called doula)
    Dog trainer
    Editor of books, fiction, knitting, animal and any other subjects I love
    I knit as much as I can and am looking forward to spinning on the spinning wheel my 90 something year-old dad has made. I can spin on a spindle but haven’t taken the time to master a spinning wheel.

  2. You could be a service rep at my company’s help desk. You don’t have to know anything and don’t really have to help anyone. We refer to it as the company helpless desk lol

  3. Heh. Well, as my current jobs are editor-in-chief of my school newspaper and nude model for art classes, I think most people can do pretty much anything. (Nude modeling is both fun and easy money, by the way– all you have to do is hold very still while people draw/paint/sculpt you badly.) I would love a job where I could paint and build things all day– my goal once I finish school is to maybe go into tech theater; set construction, costume construction, makeup, props…

    A slightly less desirable, but still highly paid, job I’ve been thinking about is selling off my ova on a regular basis to the highest bidder. You can make a surprising amount of money selling off potential offspring, for some reason.

  4. I enjoy your blog.
    Interesting thought. I work at a computer all day and knit in the evenings. Don’t spin yet.
    What would I do if I couldn’t compute any longer? Or if looking back, I looked at doing another line of work early on? (I’m married to a pastor—-) Hhhhmmmm–nothing is too silly, right?
    I would be a beach bum. Sit on the beach in an old wooden chair dug deep down into the sand. Get up now and again to do odd jobs to buy a bit of yarn and food and drink. Hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere! Watch the ebb and flow of the waves. And the people playing in the surf. The scenery would be gorgeous and there would be no hurricanes! (I live in New Orleans.)
    Okay, I know it wouldn’t pay the bills but since it’s my dream I can wish the bills away too. Just me and friends laughing with just enough to get by. Now that would be a job.
    Or maybe be a college professor. You pick—-

  5. HC! There are 58 comments, so my chances are pretty slim but here it goes, I want to try that Malabrigo that everyone keeps talking about.

    My other idea which I already posted on another blog post: yarn Pimp! You are it!

  6. Oh… and I am just a knitter right now… though I would like to take up the sit and spin for an afternoon.

  7. Well, considering how funny your joke was the first thing that came to mind was a comedian…
    …or you might want to consider being an alpaca breeder, no hands required, all you have to do is watch two alpacas go at it for about 40 minutes (your beautiful male and someone elses female) and you get $1000-$2500 for the sperm service! Now that’s easy money! Too bad the best males cost up to $50,000!
    Oh, I knit mostly but sometimes I sit and spin.

  8. Travel Agent (after all sometimes you have to go on trips so you know what you’re selling to your clients. On the job training!).

    Dog walker.

    If I could pick another career (and had the talent), I’d be a lead singer in a band!

    Whatever you decide to do, I hope that you find something that makes you happy!

    P.S. I knit only at this point. Newbie here!

  9. I’ve always though it would be fun to have a job naming colors of paint or yarn. I’ve realistically (?) thought of becoming a certified gemologist in retirement. Right. I’d never come home with a paycheck, spending it all before leaving work.

    Knitter, not a spinner. Yet.

    Li

  10. right oh, new thought Plant physic. Talk to the plants, ask them what their feelings are, see what kind of music they would like to listen too to grow better.

    Taster of deserts. Tester of human soft/bouncy hamster ball thing. ooo that one would be fun.

  11. Forklift operator for Doc Johnson’s warehouse facility?
    Personal shopper?
    Mattress tester?

    Not that I would win, but do not under any circumstances send my yarn or fiber.

  12. Great joke 🙂
    A job, eh? You could be the person putting blue liquid on pantyliners to test absorbency. Or a sea lion trainer. You could make ads for local used car salesmen. Cat trainer. Tight rope walker. That’s all I can think of. Knitter and sometimes spinner. I hope it doesn’t come to any of these jobs, unless you like them.

  13. How about this? Not something I’ve thought I would be good at but I read an article once about a girl who paid for law school doing phone sex! Made really good money, worked from home, chose her hours and with one of those blue tooth things you could do other stuff while making someone elses dreams come true if only in their minds!
    Me? I’m a knitter and a wannabe spinner just looking forward to retirement.

  14. Some random suggestions for jobs you could do (I didn’t read all the comments, so I apologize if some of these are duplicates): dancer, children’s librarian (this would require some computer use, but not all day), hunting guide, concrete finisher, mathematician (pick algebra or analysis and it wouldn’t involve computers too much), chef, millwright.

    Or how about going into politics? If you picked a high enough level, you could have other people do your typing.

  15. OK Ok some more ideas. How about being a “baby wrangler”. It’s a real job – I tried it … once.

    On photo shoots using little kids, they don’t want their mothers around often, so they hire someone to run after the little darling to keep they where they are supposed to be.

    My job trial was for a Easter catalog for a very large famous company. The kids were all dressed up in lovely dresses and suits. It was winter. There were farm animals – lambies, duckies, chickies, and a little boy had a frog (don’t ask ne why) A great big bull frog, and every time the kid picked it up for the photo, the frog peed on him. So they’d get another jacket for him to put on and try again – pee. Finally, they went with the peed-on blazer and shirt and pants since they had run out of things in the kid’s size. You can hardly tell in the calalog photo 🙂

  16. If I couldn’t do what I was doing now I would be a special education teacher. Something that you could do would be teach Physical Education or be a Physical Trainer.
    I only knit.

  17. Chicken sexer! (you sort through baby chicks and separate them by sex).

    I know someone who had a job testing condoms. He had to take random samples and blow them up to make sure they didn’t leak. I “hope” he had a machine to do that. I didn’t ask.

  18. Hmmm I have often thought about this, because I figure I can’t do my job forever. Here is my shortlist:
    Own a yarn/coffee shop; have other people compute for you.
    Librarian
    towel girl at a tropical resort. Actually any job at a tropical resort or hawaii.
    Phone sex operater could work too!

    I am knitter. Good luck and sending happy thoughts your way 🙂

  19. You could be a professional ice cream taste tester. I’d love to test new flavors for Haagen-Dazs.

    You could also be a ventriloquist

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